Breaking up with the live-in partner

Q:

I need to end things with my girlfriend but we live together. She has no money, no job, and worst of all, no ambition. I can't be stuck in this relationship any longer. I can't kick her out, I'm not like that.  I also don't have any money saved to be able to give her so she can find a new place and get back on her feet.

A:

Tell your girlfriend that you want to end your relationship.  As you mentioned, you don’t want to kick her out/move out yourself immediately.  Give her a reasonable timeframe for the moving out /split up process.   Agree on the process and split of the household items, etc.  Try to assist her in trying to get on her feet.  Depending on the specifics of your situation you will have to determine what this timeperiod is.  Weeks? Months?

Help her increase her independence. In terms of living options for her, since she has no job, some options you could suggest are for her to move in with a friend, family, relative etc.    Help her with the process of starting the job search – ie preparing resumes and searching for opportunities.

In the time where you are still living together, but not as a couple, think of her as a roommate.  Work on slowly splitting the tasks and responsibilities and possibility the expenses.  This will be difficult situation, however it can work for a short time if you are reasonable adults.

In the end, it  isn’t your responsibility to take care of her forever. Help her and give her time to get the necessary parts of her life in order and then move on.