Roommate is allergic to washing her own dishes


My best friend and I live with two random girls that moved in at the beginning of the school year.  One girl never ever cleans up after herself. She leaves dishes next to the sink for over a week.  She throws dirty pots and pans in the sink expecting my friend and I to just clean up after her. It's hard to talk to her in person since she's never here. We've tried asking her to clean her dishes in our group chat. What else can I do? How do I get through to someone who clearly doesn't care?


Time to agree set of apartment rules/expectations/norms.  Call an in person meeting and give everyone an opportunity to discuss how the household should be run.  This could include how common expenses will be shared (ie toilet paper), how the cleaning will be done, how long dishes should stay on the counter for.  Give everyone an opportunity to speak and by no means should this be an attack on the 1 particular girl. 

If the behaviour continues, besides gentle dish cleaning reminders, another approach is restrict her access to dishes and pots.  If you own the dish/pots,  keep them in your room or your own kitchen cabinet.  Let her acquire and care for her own pots and dishes. She will quickly learn that the dishes her don’t wash themselves.

Another approach is – just wash her dishes.  Life isn’t fair.  You are living with an inconsiderate person because you want to save money on housing costs.  Co-living will mean that your roommates will have quirks – noisy, messy, take too long to shower, have guests over that you dislike, etc.  Accept that you have an inconsiderate messy roommate. Instead of stressing about the dishes sitting there for over a week, if it bothers you, just wash them – it takes 2 minutes.  Better than having bugs, odours and the suspense of guessing when she is going to wash the dishes.